Aunt Flo; Riding the Crimson Wave; My Moon; The Cotton Pony; Checked into the Red Roof Inn; T.O.M. Time Of Month; Shark Week; The Rag. Whatever nickname you use to address your period (ahem; menses), give it up and give this special cycle the honors it so deserves! A woman will spend approximately 3,500 days of her life menstruating, so we better learn to love it, or else we’re in for some doom and gloom.
As the inimitable feminist, activist and philosopher Gloria Steinem once wrote, “What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not? The answer is clear – menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much. Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties. The US Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts. Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammed Ali’s Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields – “For Those Light Bachelor Days,” and Robert “Baretta” Blake Maxi-Pads.)”
So, let’s all exit the Red Tent, shed the taboos (like our uterine lining), and embrace this awesome time which signifies womanhood and more importantly, fertility and the continuity of humanity. It is not awkward, it is not gross (womb blood once nourished YOU), and it is not foul. In fact, in many ways, having my period is the only time I feel like a kind of X-(wo)Man whose superpower is that of lunar cycles, friendship syncing and tidal waves. Why do some men get to brag about natural bodily functions like ejaculation, burping and farting yet, us women cannot discuss our most basic of reproductive rites?
Lace during your period! The Victorians would have never imagined it.
I will, however, admit something, even after my pro period rant; sometimes menstruation really is inconvenient, even messy. So for that we have Dear Kate! Protective, leak-resistent, stain resistant lingerie for women. Throw out the granny panties! Dear Kates were invented for those days when the last thing you want to worry about is an embarrassing mishap. Rock those white pants, and quit soaking and scrubbing, Cinderella! Rather than having an underthing with the express purpose of “attracting a mate” why not empower yourself with a garment made for your needs, while still being cute?
Dear Kate’s founder utilized her chemical engineering background to create the patent-pending fabric lining each pair of underwear. Comprised of two luxurious microfiber layers and a thin, breathable outer layer, this is revolutionary fabric to the rescue. These clever and washable garments will save about 730 panty liners a year, think about it – that’s a decent chunk of change ($$) and a few trees. Not just for the monthly gift; Dear Kate also comes through in a pinch for gym sweat, bladder leakage and discharge. Trust me, it’s love-at-first-wear.
As Dear Kate CEO and founder Julie Sygiel explains, “We can’t reschedule your time of the month or train your unborn child, but we can make life safer for your favorite dress.”
TAKE BACK YOUR PERIOD. PERIOD.